Watashi ni wa rī

Have you ever found yourself making decisions based on a promise made to you by someone who CLAIMS to care for you? Have you ever found that you were HORRIBLY mistaken by doing that? I have.

So I met an individual online last year we'll call him Aoki(the real name doesn't elude me but if you assault me with names and i sneeze for one, you're welcome to believe what you want) who seemed...fickle at best, who wanted to be my friend. I'm a skeptic especially about younguns and doubly so about reds but i decided to humor them. Apparently though, he was under the impression that I like to waste time and didn't think I was serious so we stopped talking for a bit.
Flash forward a few months. I've heard plenty, plenty-plenty-plenty about Aoki since then, however I was never one to just accept talk. Especially when the sources tend to ....paint pictures that makes them look good. Lo and behold I'm asked by Aoki for a 'second chance' ( I save my MSN messages darlings so be careful what you say to me, I don't use them for anything other than to REMIND ppl when they try to lie to me later). I must admit I was taken by surprise a bit. It came out of the blue for one and secondly, we were never really serious so there was never really a 'first' chance. I considered it and thought "sure, why not".
Needless to say... I was laughed at both in front and behind my face.

Though I was seriously trying to give this person a fair chance, what I did realize is that I was becoming their PC guy. Their company sometimes was good so i didn't mind TOO much. However along the way I started realizing something....Aoki lies A LOT! I was kinda flabergasted. I didn't understand what compulsion made them lie sooooo friggin much...and for NO reason what so ever! Take their surprise birthday 'party' for instance, apparently they forgot that people were taking pictures... it was NOT the gala they attempted to make me think it was.

Then came Christmas. Now I'm not one to be grubby and greedy bout presents...BUT...if you know you can't...or more to say...WON'T be doin something for someone, keep yuh mouth shut. If something is stuck in shipping for 17 days (as of blob date), most people raise a fuss, so i still waitin for the supposed sound system that in shipping since before Christmas lol. (note i didn't ASK for the system eh, they proclaimed that is what they 'GOT' me, later changed to 'GETTING' later changed to... ).

Ranting aside. I overlooked all this. I wasn't too concerned cause deep down I was feelin kinda happy that I was actually having feelings for someone. Feelings usually inspire my creative side and I've been busy writing up a storm of late. (Look out for the story of Duene and Lou, coming soon). However what really ticked me off was this latest development.
I needed to pay my rent, so I decided to sell my PSP. Aoki jumped up and said he wanted to buy it, I agreed. He said he didn't have the cash on him now and would give me by week end, I agreed. I let him take the PSP with him. I didn't NEED the money by weekend so when weekend came and went, I didn't fuss. The following Tuesday however I asked the very DIRECT question: Will you be able to bring the money for me by Thursday? To which he replied: Yes, that will be no problem.

*sigh*

Right now on my bed, my PSP is sitting. On Thursday, after not answering me for the whole day because he 'forgot' his phones at home, I asked him: are you dropping by today? The response was: Well I have it up on Trini Tuner and no one wants to buy it.
Heh.
What did that have to do with me since I was supposedly selling the item to him? Apparently everything. There was another old friend of mine who at the time was willing to pay me DOUBLE and I turned him down...
Saturday night Aoki brings me the PSP, and says he's 'changed his mind', this is AFTER I go and borrow the money from my mom with the promise of paying her back this week with the money i was supposedly getting for it...

...frustration.

But at least he 'apologized'.




So, whats the point?

I dunno but this is my two cents:
Aoki comes from a background of Plastic. Nothing is real, nothing is solid. From friends to family, to 'career' all of it is pretty colours and cheap paint. In a world like that that, when everything is 'Made in China' you never seem to place value in pretty much anything. If you've ever heard him speak to his mother you'd be shocked....and oddly not surprised at the same time. If he could treat her like that, who the hell is me?? LOL.
I recently watched Saw 6 and this particualar quote stood out to me: "You think it is the living, who will have ultimate Judgement over you, because the dead can lay no claim to your soul....but you may be mistaken...." and it struck me that it fit in this situation as well. In his World he has no friends, he's said so himself. As he goes along he takes what he needs, then discards it. I wasn't that useful so I was discarded fairly quickly. However others, (like the one who works for mobile phone company who he described as 'not to be taken seriously' or the 'movie star' who can't seem to shut up about it) will survive a little longer. The ones who survive may not be that many, but the discarded...well one partially usefull thing may not have an impact...but MANY usefull things...when put together can eventually put a dent in something so kanpeki na.

My lesson is learnt.
Kami wa Aoki, anata shukufuku karumano shurui ga ari masu!
On to the next challenge!